Happiness

How to find your vocation. 5 reasons that prevent us from doing this

I will try to answer the question how to find your calling. When I talk about vocation, I mean a matter of your life, maybe a profession, but not necessarily her.

I will not be able to offer a ready-made method that will help any of you immediately discover your life purpose, but I will give you some tips that can point you in the right direction in this search.


In all the articles on this topic that I found on the Internet, the ways are described with which you can understand what your calling is. Some article authors offer tests that can reveal your hidden talents. Someone advises to make a kind of brainstorming, writing out on a sheet of paper all that comes into your head regarding your life goal. I can not argue about the effectiveness of these methods, since I myself did not use them.

But what I cannot agree with when I read these articles is that the search for my own vocation is a kind of a priori human desire. For many people, there is no doubt that there should be some kind of business throughout their lives, to which they can surrender their head, spend all their energy on this business. Such an activity, in the opinion of many, will create the foundation of personal existence. Without this business, life supposedly doesn't make much sense.

From this premise, the need to search for your own vocation, which will meet the talents and aspirations of the individual, and, in addition, will ensure its comfortable existence. But not everyone finds such a thing. Someone seemed to find him, but after a while he felt satiety and discontent. Someone tried a bunch of different activities, but did not find "his".

We cannot understand what our purpose is, as we ask the wrong questions in our lives.

What is the problem? Does it really consist in the fact that a person just had no luck yet and didn’t meet that occupation that meets his talents and desires? No, I think the problem is different. The problem is in the original premise. Who said that we should search for our appointment? Why do we need to do this?

Such questions are usually not asked. The need to search for your appointment is accepted as an axiom. Many of us believe that we definitely need to become someone, a doctor, a businessman, a politician, a sales manager, an artist or a musician, to devote all our lives to this work, and this work should correspond to our vocation! And precisely because of the belief that in finding one's vocation is the main goal of life, we fail in this! I know it sounds a bit strange, but now I'll explain everything.

People cannot find their vocation because they incorrectly formulate the main question. They ask: “Which of the social roles offered to me most closely correspond to my talents and opportunities? What role can I play best? Playing what role can I realize myself as a person? ”And not everyone finds the answer. - This is the first reason why some people cannot find their vocation.

The correct formulation of the question should be: “What do I want from this life in general? What do I need to do to satisfy this desire? Is there any social role that will allow me to achieve my life goal? If so, which one? If not, how can I still achieve my goal? ”

Here it is the right question! Here's what to ask! You see, we no longer put the fulfillment of a social role in the basis of our existence, we subordinate it to our life goals, or even get rid of it, as a last resort.

My life goal

To make this position clearer, let me give an example of myself. I already knew what I want from life. For myself, I wish at least relative freedom and independence. I like to live, I like to learn new things and develop. I just want to live and enjoy life! I want to travel, I enjoy the knowledge of the world around me, I love to communicate with people. I want to make this world a little better, and people a little happier.

These are my life tasks. Now let's discuss what needs to be done to achieve this goal. What did I have to become? An educator? A programmer? A manager? Which of these professions meet my life needs? It's hard to say yet. Let's then come up with the ideal profession, which should suit me. What should be this ideal profession?

First of all, the ideal work should not take a lot of time. When I have children, I want to see them more often than only in the evenings and weekends. I want to educate them and spend more time with them than the time that I can devote to them, working in regular work. I also have a desire to devote time to my many hobbies: music, sports, reading a variety of books, poker, chess, travel, entertainment, thinking, this site and communicating with friends.

I do not want to be tied to the need to go somewhere every day, sit for 9 hours in one place, get tired and have some miserable month of vacation a year. My ideal work should allow me to rest more often, travel more and enjoy life as I want. My source of income, preferably, should be autonomous and remote. But I do not put freedom and independence at the forefront.

I am ready to devote all my time and energy to some business, only if it inspires me and is of great benefit to others. Also this business should be mine. In all other cases, my work can be anything (within reasonable limits), so long as it leaves me the desired freedom.

I think that the attentive reader has already noticed that I am talking only about working conditions, but almost nothing about its content! What should I become? Freelance translator or free entrepreneur? The main thing is that work gives me freedom and the necessary means for existence, and what I do is not so important.

But what about the desire to help people, you ask? And who said that I should do this as my work? If I get my ideal job, I can have more free time. And I can devote him to helping people.

Of course, it is desirable that the main source of finance meets this goal, but this is not at all necessary. For example, I can try to extract the maximum profit from this site, with the help of which I try to help people, and make it the main income. But I can do something else. For example, to sell Chinese shoes in bulk. To organize this business in such a way that it does not take away all my free time, and at my leisure to work on this site and help people!

Your vocation should serve your life goals.

This is a fundamental point. I want to say that your work does not have to meet your talents or your vocation, it should contribute to the achievement of your life goals. For example, I cannot say that I am a born trader in Chinese shoes, but if such a thing would allow me to fulfill my vital needs, then I would hypothetically become engaged in them. Every person needs a financial source, and this is not going anywhere.

I would not be delighted with this business, but what can you do? If he allowed me to work a little and rest a lot, why not.

Of course, if you work 9 hours a day with weekends once a week, then you want this thing to bring pleasure, since it takes so much time and effort. But this is not my choice, although now I have to work this way. I try to organize my life so that the need for continuous sitting at work is no longer necessary.

I like some professions, some kind of work does not appeal to me. I should have liked to be a teacher more than a manager, but if I work full time, there is no big difference. Maybe that's why many people find it difficult to find their vocation?

Imagine that you are trying to make a career as a theater actor. At first you played dramatic roles, understood - not yours. Then comedies. Also did not go. Then they tried themselves in the avant-garde theater. Not that. You have already begun to despair, do you really never find your vocation in the theater?

And who said that you should look for him in the theater? Maybe the theater itself doesn't really suit you. You do not like to be a performer, you have an aversion to the theatrical audience! And what does it matter who you play Hamlet or Onegin? Maybe try something other than the theater.

Is there a big difference between being a sales manager or a hired job designer? Of course, one of these professions will be more to your liking, but in both cases you will have to come to work every day, sit in the office until the end of the working day, stand in traffic jams and experience all the “charms” of office work. Maybe this is not yours? Instead of choosing between different forms of the same thing, maybe you should look for something else at all?

People see a choice where there is essentially none. This is the second reason why they cannot find their vocation.

Who said your vocation should be in one thing?

When some people allegedly find their vocation, it becomes a verdict for them, not happiness. If you look for a business that will need to devote all your time, then you will not be able to seriously do something else! Here, calling will only limit you. Not always the profession will be able to exhaust the personality and discover its full potential.

This is the third reason why many have not found their vocation. And why should it consist in one thing? A person wants and can do many things! And when they say to him: “you are a marketing specialist, you are a programmer, you are a manager and you stay with them”, you get the feeling as if we were pronounced a sentence. After all, the personality is much wider than the framework of any profession!

Hard to find a vocation for life

In addition, any work, whatever it is, no matter how creative it is, has a routine component. From any work sooner or later you get tired. It is difficult to find a permanent job, from which you will always enjoy. If you are now very enthusiastic about your new business, it does not mean that you will experience it until retirement.

I say that it is very difficult to find a vocation for life. A person wants to change activities and this is natural: people change, they grow out of old habits and desires. This is the fourth reason why people cannot find their destination.

Conclusion: Stop trying to drive yourself into the framework of a social role, thinking that one and only one is your calling and the meaning of life! Find a job that will meet your life goals and do everything you want to do.

Challenges in search of a life goal

Of course, what I said may sound good, but one difficulty remains. Not every person will simply define his life goal in order to understand what business will meet this goal.

It is not an exaggeration to say that each person strives to be happy and, possibly, to make others happy. This is the universal life purpose of man. I think everyone agrees. But not everyone agrees on how to achieve this happiness.

In my article on how to become a happy person, I said that happiness depends more on your inner state than on external things. Happiness lies in the harmony of your spirit with your body, in the clarity of your perception of things, and not in the possession of some material values ​​or social status.

If you have not found happiness inside, then no money, no women, no houses and cars will make you happy. You will experience a miserable resemblance of happiness when you strive for these things, but, having achieved these goals, you realize that this did not make you happy and the search will begin anew ...

By this I try to say that it is not entirely correct to see my life goal in achieving any social benefits. First of all, you must find happiness in yourself, and then you will understand what your life purpose and your purpose are!

I believe that for some people the search for their vocation turns into a collapse, because they have not found happiness in themselves. They think: “Make more money, become a businessman, a big manager, a musician, a politician, this will be your vocation, in which you will find happiness.” Having tried one social role and, not finding joy in it, they switch to another, believing that the whole thing is in the very role that they simply did not fit, and not in themselves!

The fact is that these people could not find a source of happiness in themselves, therefore no role can suit them. This is the fifth reason why people cannot find their vocation.

In this case, you should stop this search and turn your eyes inward and think: “Why am I unhappy? Maybe it's in my views on life? Maybe I'm looking for happiness where it is not for me? "

Not all of my life desires were fulfilled: until I found my ideal job and did not achieve my financial goals, however, I consider myself a happy person.

I want to say that your happiness should not greatly depend on the achievement of your life goal. If you think that, having found your destination, you will find harmony and happiness, which you do not have now, you are most likely mistaken.

Some business can help you to distract from your problems and experiences, to feel yourself needed and for a while to run away from yourself. But do not confuse this with happiness. If some activity helps you to forget and think less about your problems, then this does not mean that this activity is your vocation. Start your quest for a life goal with yourself!

When I found my calling ...

At the very beginning I said that this article does not have the character of a guide to action. This post, unlike my other posts, is less specific. We can say that this is just reasoning around a certain subject. I talked about personal experiences, how I perceive my appointment. Perhaps this will help someone to think in the right direction, get rid of delusions and ask the right questions to this world.

I did not talk about how to choose the most suitable job. If you need to read about it, you will find a lot of information on other sites. I devoted this article to the very topic of the search for a vocation, tried to argue about why many people cannot find it. I tried to go beyond the standard formulation of the question of choosing my social role and turned to the very problem of the existence of this choice.

Why should we choose one of many things? Why do we have to become someone, to perform some function? Why can't we just enjoy living and breathing, subduing all the rest to this happiness?

Once I realized that I already have everything I need for happiness, which I found inside of me. And all I want to do in this life is to enjoy this happiness, make others happy and awaken consciousness in people. I realized that my goal is to feel this life in full, to fully realize my potential, to rejoice at every moment of existence, rather than dissolving my personality in a single social role and sacrificing many opportunities for it.

I am not saying that everyone should adopt my way of thinking. I cited him as an example of how to reason, to understand what you yourself need. Someone believes that a person should devote himself to something one in full. I have nothing against it, if this vocation, to which you give all your energy, benefits you and those around you, does not harm anyone, makes you happy, fully opens up your opportunities, does not drain all your strength, but only on the contrary, charges you with enthusiasm.

But such a vocation still need to search. Due to the narrow specialization of the proposed social roles, it is difficult to find one’s own purpose. The problem here is not that you cannot understand what your talents are and what is best for you. Just existing professions are too specific to fully meet the needs of the individual in development and become the basis of all life.

It seems to me that it is not so difficult to understand which profession will suit you best. If you are interested in computers, then the work of a programmer is more suitable for you; if you are good at languages, you can make a successful career as a translator. But this does not mean at all that by becoming a programmer or a translator, you will be able to fully open your possibilities.

If some profession suits you more than the others, this does not mean that this is your vocation.
Therefore, before you think about vocation, find your life purpose, understand what you want from life in general. Get rid of illusions and learn to rejoice at what you have. Ответу на то, как этому научиться, должно быть, посвящен весь мой блог, в особенности статья, как стать счастливым человеком, ссылку на которую я давал выше.

А вы уже нашли свое назначение? Счастливы ли вы своим жизненным выбором? Сколько профессий вы изменили? Кажется ли вам, что вы нашли что-то свое?

Буду рад, если вы ответите в комментариях.

Watch the video: Stop searching for your passion. Terri Trespicio. TEDxKC (April 2024).