In life, there are often situations where even one phone call is crucial.
And this applies not only to the business sphere of communication - if you have the opportunity to call the girl you are interested in, with whom you have just got acquainted, the outcome of this conversation can significantly affect development of relations in the future.
How should you talk in such a case, what should you talk about and what should be avoided?
How to prepare for the first conversation with the girl on the phone?
The value of a conversation with a person who is close to you, of course, lies in improvisation, a magical sensation of spiritual closeness, a sense of immediacy in a conversation, however, when you first call a girl, it’s better not to hope for a miracle and get ready in advance - especially if you tend to get lost and barely support the conversation thread during anxiety.
Try yourself as a detective - collect about the girl all the information that is possible. You can find it not only among mutual friends, but also in social networks.
Hobbies, interests, current concerns, lifestyle, preferences in art - everything is important. The more you know about a girl, the easier it will be for you to interest her. Of course, she would not necessarily know that you spent several hours collecting data on her.
After you have collected information about your friend, do not be lazy to find out more about her interests and hobbies - in order to have at least an overview of this.
She will surely be very pleased that you can put in a word or two about what interests her. After that, determine your interests and what you can tell about yourself.
In this case, for example, you should not include bodybuilding in the list of your hobbies, if the day before yesterday you agreed to take dumbbells from a friend - only that which is really close to you.
Masquerade to anything except the disappointment of the girl, will not result.
Then sketch a list of topics that you could discuss - in general, of course.
They may come up in a conversation in different sequences or not be touched at all - improvisation from the girl’s place has not been canceled, however, in which case you will, as they say, "On horseback".
If possible, decide on the time of the call. For example, you can write a message to a girl asking you exactly when you can call.
So you don't get in an awkward situation, trying to talk "about high" at a time when she will be in a crowded bus. Let the girl herself choose the time to call.
At the conclusion of the preparation, be sure to tune in to positive emotions when talking.
How to start a dialogue?
Start a conversation with a pleasant note. The following phrases will be appropriate during the greeting:
- "I'm glad to hear you."
- "Finally, we heard."
- "What is your pleasant voice on the phone."
Do not be afraid to express your positive emotions. from the call, however, which is very important, in no case do not focus on such fleeting compliments. They should be pronounced as if this is the usual observance of the etiquette of a conversation during a greeting.
Next, continue the conversation in a context relevant to your relationship.
If some time has passed since the moment when you last saw or texted, remember to remember your last contact, it means that the girl is interesting to you, she will also be pleased that you keep such memories.
Ask how much has changed since then. Tell the girl that you have free time and you decide to devote it to communicating with her.
It can be said that it was some kind of incident that reminded you of her, or it was a paper sheet with her phone number that you found in your pocket, or maybe you were going to make a call for a long time, but did not allow for free time - depending on the development of your relationship with her at the moment.
Ask her how is she doing what is she doing at the momentDoes it often have free time - after which you can gradually move on to discuss any topics that will be relevant after its answers.
What can I talk about?
At the very beginning of your communication, it will be best to talk on easy and relaxed topics, only gradually delving into the various nuances of a particular direction.
The standard themes that will find a response from the girl will be the following:
- Leisure. This topic is good because it gives you the opportunity to go to any of your companion’s hobbies, with which you may already be somewhat familiar. You can find common points of contact, possible similarities of interests, lifestyle. It can be travel, music, films, meditation, healthy lifestyle, swimming, rest on the sea with the ability to remember the most vivid or funny events from her life - the main thing is that such a conversation will cause positive emotions in a girl.
- Girl's interests. As a rule, a person with ease and enthusiasm perceives a topic that is really close to him.
If you are a little prepared for the development of the conversation, everything will be in your hands.
- Relationship psychology. If between you and the girl there is mutual sympathy, you can not get away from such a topic. However, at the very beginning of dating, this is a great way not only to entertain a girl with a pleasant conversation, but also to find out for herself what value is for her in relationships, what men she likes more, what she does not accept and compare what she heard with her vision of certain aspects of relationships .
- Points of contact. Perhaps you are studying with a girl in the same school, university, working in the same company, living in the same city, or relaxing in your favorite place. This can be a vast field of conversation topics.
When talking on the phone, be sure to watch how your interlocutor responds to the affected topic. Her interest in the chosen direction will give out emotions and a desire to speak, while some topics may cause a certain amount of indifference.
Feel free to change the topic in this case. For example, you can say: “I see you are already starting to yawn on such a topic. By the way, how much time do you spend on daily sleep and how do you generally relate to a healthy lifestyle? ”
Do not dwell on one direction of conversation and at the same time do not jump from topic to topic too often.
Both excessive depth in a particular topic and chaotic discussion of unrelated logical phenomena may cause rejection. Best to keep the golden mean.
How to talk?
The most important thing in a conversation with a girl on the phone, oddly enough - be able to listen.
Watch carefully for her reactions to a particular topic and be sure to listen to her statements to the end.
Try to intersperse with the conversation funny and funny items - this will help to keep an easy and pleasant tone of conversation, will leave a pleasant impression about you.
Ask questions - of course, not so intensely that your interlocutor feels like being interrogated, but enough to rule out your monologue.
Thus, you will allow her to understand that you value her opinion on a particular issue, are interested in her position - and in the future she will be much more willing to speak on various issues, herself suggest topics for conversation.
Try to stay confident, speak clearly and clearly. Use all the possibilities of your voice - in this case, it is the only instrument of your influence on the girl.
Change your intonation, show emotions - in fact, they are very well heard on the phone. Do not speak monotonously.
What is the end of the conversation?
All good things end sooner or later - just like a conversation with a particular female you are interested in.
You can directly tell her about itcompleting the conversation.
At the same time, it doesn’t matter whether you feel embarrassed that you have exhausted all the topics for conversation or if your mother is calling you to help in something - it would be better to refer to the fact that you are waiting for some business.
Be sure to try to complete the conversation so that the girl there was confidence that you have something to talk about.
Express the hope that you will have another talk - it is not necessary to agree on the exact time. Tell your companion that you would be happy to hear from her again.
You can suggest that she call you at your leisure if you wish, however don't ask it obsessively - Remember that it is from the guy who traditionally expects initiative.
What topics should not we talk about?
The acceptability of topics for talking on the phone depends largely on the personal characteristics, however, the following areas of conversation at the beginning of dating, you should still avoid:
- Intimate topics. Sure, sex means pleasure, but not at the first conversation on the phone. Raising this topic, you can either create the impression of a person concerned with this issue, or it is too early to talk about your intentions, which may sound rather vulgar.
- Specific male themes. If you are crazy about cars, fishing or World of Tanks, this does not mean that these topics are of the same interest to the girl.
A discussion of this can be compared with the fact that it will begin to explain to you the advantages of this or that lipstick.
- Progress. In other words - boasting. You should not spam in a conversation with your own virtues - many of them are better reserved for later.
- Topics that are not interesting to her. Your interlocutor may have personal preferences, including a lack of interest in a particular subject.
Every person is individuality.
Therefore, the consideration of unacceptable topics should be made only taking into account the personal qualities of your interlocutor.
What is capable of causing sea of delight one girl, another can leave indifferent.
Pay special attention to the first call on the phone to the girl you are interested in. Exactly first impression can play a decisive role in the further development of your relationship.
In the future, when you are already close, the need to pre-prepare topics may seem ridiculous to you, but this will never be over the beginning of your acquaintance.
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