Demonstration of dislike for the child: what are the consequences of the parents' hypopecs?

There are several types of parenting in the family.

Hypoopek is one of the most negative options parenting behavior.

Concept

Hypoopek - is a type of upbringing in the family, characterized by the fact that children are deprived of the care and attention they need.

Parents can purposefully choose a similar way of education, considering it to be the most acceptable, or not be fully aware of the fallacies of their behavior.

Lack of attention in childhood never passes without a trace. In the future, such children often experience deviant behavior, problems in relationships with others, personality disorders, difficulties in building relationships, etc.

A hypoopek can manifest itself not simply in lack of attention or disregard, but also in the appearance of disgust or hatred.

Main reasons

Parents behave in this way for various reasons:

Immaturity. Often children appear in young couples who have not planned the onset of pregnancy. As a result, the family is not created naturally in the presence of the desire of both parties to enter into marriage, but solely out of necessity. The unwillingness of the newly-minted parents to raise a child leads to their desire to completely disclaim responsibility for their lives, to protect themselves from the problems that have arisen. Couples who deliberately planned pregnancy, but after faced with the harsh reality, can demonstrate similar behavior. At a young age, ideas about children are often very vague and far from reality, so the very first difficulties can knock out immature parents and adjust negatively.

Selfishness. A couple may consist of two adults, self-sufficient personalities who lead a child under the influence of stereotypes prevailing in society. They do not want to change their habitual way of life and give up their interests for the sake of a new family member. As a result, the baby is left without proper attention, although all his domestic needs are fully satisfied.
Failure to accept. Often, adults see children as an opportunity to realize their unfulfilled dreams. For example, dad dreams of his son becoming an athlete and resenting the fact that the boy likes to sit at home in the evenings and draw. Or, the mother wants to make a great pianist out of her daughter, and the girl prefers hand-to-hand combat. Misunderstanding may arise not only on the basis of the choice of the development path, but also because of the inconsistency of the child’s character with the expectations of the parents. For example, a pair of tough and purposeful people grow soft, vulnerable offspring.
He is incomprehensible to his parents, perceived by them as a stranger. As a result, the baby has a feeling of being useless.
Daily routine. Often, taking care of children is marginalized due to the constant workload of domestic problems, material difficulties, troubles at work, etc. The child is constantly not enough time and he is left to himself.

Divorce. In a divorce situation, the parties may be so carried away by their own sufferings and the clarification of the relationship that the child will no longer have any meaning for them. Even in disputes regarding the payment of alimony or the determination of the order of communication, parents can pursue exclusively personal motives, and the child acts in such cases as a way to achieve the goal. Another dangerous situation is the unwillingness to communicate with a baby who misses the second parent or is very similar to him. The mother may be unconsciously annoyed by the fact that the son outwardly and in nature completely copies his father.
Every time, looking at her son, she sees her former man in him and as a result, she dislikes a boy who is not guilty of anything.
Traumatic experience. If an adult is brought up in an atmosphere of dislike and neglect, then he is very likely to transfer this model of parenting to his own life.
Lack of love Unfortunately, not all women have maternal instinct in nature. A mother can perform all her duties mechanically, but she doesn’t feel anything towards her son or daughter. If there is no love on the part of the father (or the father is not near), then the situation becomes really critical.

What is manifested?

External manifestations of hypoopae on the part of parents:

ignoring the child's need for warmth and affection;
inattention to his problems;
demonstration of irritation for any reason;
maximum contact limit;
selfish behavior of adults, in which their interests are always in priority.

Characteristic

What is the main characteristic of the style of hypo-paths in psychology? Speaking briefly about the hypo-cat, it’s not just a lack of guardianship, but dislike demonstration.

Many parents believe that the provision of material goods and the satisfaction of all everyday social needs is proof of love. But much more important is warmth, affection, attention.

Psychologically healthy, self-confident individuals are those who grew up in an atmosphere of complete acceptance and care. The love of parents became a platform on which their personality fully developed.

Indifference to others, heartlessness, cruelty, complexing - all these are features of people who received less love in childhood.

Symptoms manifested in a child

Children who do not receive attention, may exhibit the following behavior:

desire for loneliness, removal from other people;
demonstrative actions committed to fill the lack of attention;
departure from reality into the world of illusions (role-playing, Internet, drugs, etc.);
the desire to communicate with children from "bad" companies that have similar problems.

Implications and scenarios of growing up

Early childhood development directly depends on the level of his closeness with his parents. Cognitive activity, subject and game activity cannot develop without appropriate participation from adults.

That mom and dad help to explore the world, to study the palette of human emotions, to comprehend patterns of behavior.

Left to himself the kid does not receive the necessary portion of care, affection, support. Eventually personality deformation occurs at the earliest stagethat in the future will necessarily affect the emotional sphere.

As he grows up, a child, ever more aware of the absence of full-fledged love in his life, acquires complexes and takes up a defensive attitude towards others.

Confidence in the world and a positive attitude towards yourself laid in early childhood only as a result of productive communication with loved ones.

The absence of such communication leads to quite logical consequences: capriciousness, touchiness, increased anxiety.

Not paying attention naturally scion trying to find other ways. The standard behavior in this case is disobedience.

With the help of whims it turns out to get attention, which leads to the development of a similar habitual pattern of behavior. The habit of transforming your negative experiences and sufferings into destructive actions can also be transferred to adulthood.

Typical psychogenic disorders that manifest themselves in children in families with a hypopoquea: thumb sucking, sleep disorders, bedwetting, stuttering.

Growing up can go one of the following scenarios.:

lack of trust in people;
defiant acts;
antisocial behavior;
criminal inclinations;
taking psychotropic substances;
indifference to others;
promiscuity;
inability to build relationships;
low self-esteem;
conflict

How to change the situation?

Child because of his age unable to change the current situation.

Only parents, as adults and mature individuals, can recognize the existence of problems and take action.

Their timely detection of problems and careful work on correcting your own behavior help to avoid negative consequences.

Important learn how to exercise as much warmth and affection. Constantly interested in the affairs of the baby, answer questions, calm and give advice. The closer and more trusting relationship with parents, the kinder and happier the world around seems.

Realizing that he is still loved, the child will begin to behave more openly with others, he will lose his wariness and the desire for solitude.

Also there will be no need for demonstrative, destructive behaviorbecause attention will flow naturally.

You can show interest in different ways. During the dialogue, it is important to listen carefully, without being distracted by other matters.

Of great importance eye contactshowing involvement in a conversation.

It is also important to take care with tactile sensations: touches, hugs, kisses, etc.

It is important to rationally approach the issue of punishments.

Individual offenses are not always explained by deliberate disobedience. To objectively understand the motives of action son or daughter should learn to look at any situation with their eyes.

Often for behavior adjustment enough to show understanding, sympathy, participation. As a result, the offspring will begin to behave better without any measures of coercive influence.

Often parents devalue the problems of a daughter or son, believing that such trifles are not worthy of attention. But what appears to an adult nonsense can make a difference for a child or teenager.

You can increase the importance of the child, constantly consulting with him. The realization that his opinion matters will give confidence.

Even if the child is wrong, you should always take his side. Left alone at home, you can point out to him errors in behavior and present certain requirements. But with outsiders, he should always feel that his parents will not betray him and are always on his side.