The flushing face, clenched fists and creeping line in the eyes of "I am angry" - this is how we look when angry. Sometimes these emotions are pertinent and understandable, but in most cases they only spoil relations, lead to conflicts and exhaust us. What is anger and what are its causes? Why is it so difficult to control yourself in a rage? We will tell how to cope with the surging wave of indignation and defeat ourselves.
What is anger
Anger is a strong feeling of discontent caused by outrage towards a situation or person. It is accompanied by a state of malice and irritation.
Anger is manifested both at the physiological and psychological levels. From the point of view of physiology, it is characterized by a large release of the hormone adrenaline, which affects the way of thinking and action. Attacks provoke an expression of aggression without thinking about the consequences. Mechanisms of instincts direct all the destructive force of aggression to the stimulus.
Anger is manifested when a person is not able to control his emotions, or in situations of psychological saturation. In such cases, we often say: "How much has accumulated."
Causes
- Frustration (discrepancy desires and opportunities). Such a state arises when, due to obstacles, a person is not able to achieve the cherished goal. In such situations, motivation, aspiration, disappears, a feeling of anger appears, primarily towards yourself.
- Physical Threat Protection most often manifested in its avoidance or prevention, but almost always accompanied by anger.
- The cause of anger may be a situation or opinion that is completely contrary to our beliefs and attitudes. This feeling is fueled by self-confidence. Complete with other emotions, anger is capable of provoking attempts at prejudice and reorganization of another's opinion.
- The response of other people. Emotions give rise to reciprocal emotions, anger is no exception, especially if such a negative emotion is directed in our direction unreasonably.
- Anger does not arise from scratch. Behind him are always feelings of pain, fear, resentment. This is the result of accumulated emotions of dissatisfaction.
- In some cases, outbursts of anger provide additional energy for further work. Developed adrenaline contributes to greater productivity and working fuse.
Anger Management
Anger is the result of short temper and general instability of the emotional sphere. You can cope with this if you learn to control your emotional state, develop stress resistance. For this it is necessary to provide a comfortable living environment, eliminate sources of irritation.
In addition to these, the cause of anger is physical or psychological pain, provocation, harsh criticism. The consequences are expressed in an increased level of stress and anxiety, distraction, and short temper.
Anger can have its degree: from mild annoyance and discontent to rage, rabies, anger. At the very least, it has a destructive force, which is directed towards others, but is able to influence its own state. But if you learn to control this emotion, you can provide for yourself and others.
Getting rid of unpleasant feelings
To eradicate such an emotion is extremely difficult, because it lies at the level of instincts, sometimes it can even be useful. But frequent outbursts of anger and uncontrollable conditions can bring irreparable consequences. Fortunately, there are ways to establish self-control and live peacefully.
Trainings
Exercise helps to get rid of anger. During exercise, endorphins (hormones of happiness) are produced, which make us feel fresh, vigorous, and energetic. Thanks to the training, you can, as they say, “let off steam”, direct the developed adrenaline in the right direction. Regular exercise not only helps to remove traces of stress and anger, but also serves as a good prevention of reducing the level of anger and anger. If you don’t have enough time for a long-term workout, you can spend 5-10 minutes of exercise - do some warm up exercises. This will help relieve fatigue, briefly escape from work.
Breathing exercises.
"Inhale - exhale, count to 10". Such advice really works. Slow deep breathing reduces heartbeat, stabilizes pressure, relaxes the body.
So, if anger is already propping up, it is worth counting to 10, while breathing correctly. It will save from unnecessary emotions.
To properly follow the breathing technique, you need to follow the following instructions:
- Find a quiet place to stay conveniently located.
- Slowly inhale through the nose. Concentrate on the abdominal cavity: feel the belly fill with air, relax.
- Leisurely exhale through the mouth. Tighten the press, thus pushing air from the lungs.
- Repeat the process several times at a moderate pace.
Muscle relaxation.
If you focus on relaxing the muscles, you can feel how tension and anxiety recede. It is better to relax in the evening, for a good sleep or at the time of intense tension. For this you need:
- Find a comfortable, quiet place.
- Focus on the most intense muscle group (most often it is the cervical and lumbar sections, sometimes the legs, arms, facial muscles). Strain them for about 5-10 seconds.
- Exhale slowly, relaxing tight muscles. It helps to feel how a muscle can relax. Pause for about 20 seconds, repeat it with other muscle groups.
- Alternately strain the muscles of the feet, legs, thighs, buttocks, abs, arms, neck. Concentrate on how they relax. Imagine how stress and anger recede along with tension.
Express your thoughts.
After investigating the causes of the angry state, the results showed that dissatisfaction increases brain activity and the level of creative thinking. This can be used by transforming negative emotions. For example, you can write thoughts on paper, then break it, or vice versa, start writing stories, perhaps this will be the beginning of a creative hobby. If this does not help, you can move on to more radical actions: go to an inappropriate place and “shout out” all the negative, or let off steam, breaking up old, unnecessary dishes, spilling paint on walls, etc.
Stock up on anti-stress.
You can find anti-stress toys in stores that distract attention. This kind of relaxation is safer (no need to break, pour, destroy) and interesting. Toys work thanks to pleasant tactile sensations. There are various (toys with fillers, liquid, soft materials, pleasant to the touch), so it will be easy to choose those that will like. Antistress coloring will be a good alternative to toys. These coloring pages with many elements are suitable for all ages. So you can get rid of anger, and even draw a picture.
Raise your spirits.
Interesting stories, funny videos, anecdotes will help to change anger at the mercy. To calm down, you can call a stimulus to yourself, present it in some silly ridiculous way. For example, to present an annoying boss in the form of an animal or in women's clothing.
Listen to soothing music.
Music is one of the best ways to get rid of anger and stress. But we are talking only about calm, non-aggressive genres of music. Therefore it is worth creating a playlist with relaxing classics, indie, country or reggae. Choose the best songs, listen to them when anger overtakes.
Repeat soothing phrases.
In emergency situations it helps a lot to not lose control of yourself. To do this, you need to tell yourself phrases like "Calm down, this situation will end soon," "I'm angry, but I can deal with it," "Take it easier," "This is a problem, but it is reparable," "Don't be angry, but draw conclusions " etc.
Benefit of anger
Strange as it may sound, there are situations that justify anger, even talk about its benefits.
- Anger laid at the level of instincts, in the process of evolution contributed to survival. Rage mobilizes the resources of the body to fight, to protect from danger. The absence of this emotion would hardly have helped our ancestors survive and learn to defend themselves.
- Anger protects our values, beliefs, helps fight injustice. Anger is a natural reaction of indignation to injustice.
- He helps to defend their rights and move towards the goal. People who are not afraid to sometimes express anger, more convincing in their views. This only works if emotions are not supported by aggression towards others.
- We can say that anger improves the psychological state, due to the fact that it allows you to show indignation, speak out. It is much better than to keep resentment in yourself, which accumulate over time, adversely affect psychological health, but you should not overdo it with negative.
To prevent is to win
If anger attacks cause you to vomit and toss everything around, then it is worth bearing in mind several techniques that can prevent outbursts of anger.
- Plan your actions. If you plan your actions in advance, it can be prevented during the initial stages of anger. For example, you can pause at high voltage or transfer unpleasant topics in a different direction.
- Tune in to positive. To be optimistic, then the situations that cause irritation will be much less. It is better to always tell yourself encouraging phrases, pay attention to internal motivation, get rid of stimuli.
- Look at the situation from different angles. Anger is most often caused by outrage and disagreement. But if this happens too often, then cool down, weigh all the pros and cons, look at the situation from a different angle.
- Learn to meditate. Meditations will help keep your body and mind in balance, and most importantly, they will learn how to manage emotions, let go of the negative, think with a fresh head.
- Watch your mode. Anger also manifests itself as a result of overwork. Charter, we want the world around us not to bother us. And when the opposite happens, we dive into stress. To avoid this, you need to follow the mode of life, rest and sound sleep.
- Idle time will help to prevent annoying conversation with a man who often causes resentment. Clarifying relationships can prevent many unpleasant situations.
- Turn to a psychologist - it will be a good option when coping with your own emotions does not work or no technology does not work.
Anger is a feeling that everyone faces. But its appearance is not always desirable, and the consequences are often irreversible. Follow our tips to learn how to prevent and control it.
