In a relationship, you can often find a situation where one partner manipulates the other.
How to recognize it and what to do in this case?
Manipulator - who is it?
The male manipulator is most often an ordinary cool person who can play on your sense of pity, love and responsibility.
The main goal of all his words is that you perform exclusively his whims and desires.
Most often, the man of the manipulator is very difficult to recognize even from the side, and even being in a relationship with him even more so. But there are certain signsthat will help you recognize it.
How to find out?
So how to understand that in front of you just such a man? Take a good look at him. There are the following signs that are inherent to manipulators:
- He constantly requires evidence from you. “Prove that you are a good hostess / not jealous / hot in bed” - if you often hear these phrases, then you have a manipulator.
- He does not consider himself guilty in parting with ex-girls. All his past relationships ended precisely because of the former. And in general, he is all so good, but he speaks about the former very negatively.
- He reminds you of how he once helped you or did a favor.. Thus, the male manipulator causes you a sense of duty.
- He wants to punish you even for a minor offense. Initially this may take the form of a game, but then the punishments and insults will become real.
- He considers himself a victim of circumstances. In any situation: at work, in family relationships, with friends or parents.
- He shows passive aggression. If there is some kind of misunderstanding, he can silently express his displeasure, at the same time showing that he doesn’t like something, but not voicing what it is.
What methods exist?
If you summarize, you can call such manipulation methods as:
- Material. Most often manifested in relationships where a woman earns less or does not work at all.
Typical phrases sound like this: “I pay you for your purchases, so work hard to do this,” “If you want me to buy this for you, then do this”.
- Emotional. These methods usually manifest themselves in the absence of public praise of their woman, long silence or ignoring, the absence of joint rest or pastime, a decrease in the number of calls.
- Physical. In this case, the man deliberately ceases to touch you, less often embraces; There is practically no tenderness and affection, and sex becomes routine or routine, without passion.
- Intellectual. These methods manifest themselves in belittling and insulting your dignity. Most often they affect precisely the mental abilities of a woman: “Are you so stupid at all?”, “Are you really so stupid that you don’t know basic things?”, Etc.
Ignoring as a way to manipulate
Separately, consider ignoring as a manipulation:
- Ignoring as a means of passive aggression. In this case, the man, instead of discussing what he does not like, begins to play in silence. You see that he is dissatisfied with something, but he does not say what it is.
- Ignoring as a psychological moveso you don’t think you have conquered his heart forever.
In this case, he begins to behave coldly and distantly, does not respond to calls and messages, does not pay attention to his woman, and deliberately does not listen to what she is talking about.
How to understand that he is manipulating you?
Most often, the male manipulator holds the girl so tightly in her paws that she it's hard to see its essence.
But if she nevertheless finds the strength in herself and looks at the situation from the side, then she will be able to notice the male manipulation.
Here is a few tipsThat will help to understand this:
- You feel guiltybut there are no obvious reasons for this. You cannot ask him about something, much less demand it, because you immediately feel some awkwardness.
At the same time, the male manipulator will continue to tell life stories, exposing himself as a victim in them.
- You began to notice that he was shifting the blame from yourself to you. For example, you saw in his phone the correspondence with another woman, but instead of an apology, he begins to condemn you for having climbed into his phone and do not trust him at all. And so he goes unpunished from any situation.
- A man thinks for you. Allegedly, he knows better how you live, how to act, and even how to dress. He can put it in the form of advice and be offended if you try to regain control and do it your way.
- You constantly hear ridicule in your address. The man seems to be saying everything as a joke, but in fact, he is trying to belittle you. It is convenient for him to make you feel insecure and unhappy.
- A man threatens you. This is one of the most common tactics. "If you do not, in my opinion, I will not do this or that" or even "If you do this, then I will leave you." But threats are not always direct. They can manifest themselves in such phrases: "Do not eat so much, you will soon be like a cow," "Do not communicate with your friends, otherwise you will become as stupid as they are." Obviously, in all this there is no rational link, there is only his ego-aesthetic desire - so that you do not get better and stop being friends with someone.
If you have noticed that your man has a manner of behavior described above, then be sure that you have a typical manipulator.
What to do now? Let's look at how to behave in such a relationship.
Psychology of relationships with such a man
How to build a relationship with a narcissus, a psychopath or a tyrant?
For starters, you need to think do you want to be with this man.
You need to understand that you have to make a lot of effort to form a healthy relationship.
And, most likely, you and can't change itespecially if you have been together long enough.
Start by talking. Constructive dialogue is strong relationship base. Share what you see, how he manipulates you and tell you that this is not pleasant for you.
Be prepared for the fact that the man will react violently, will deny everything, will again present himself as a victim.
Train yourself right away to express their discontent. This is useful in any relationship, including with the manipulator.
Try a psychological method like mirroring. Copy the behavior of your man, do as he does, speak as he (of course, do not take this advice literally).
Do not forget to tell him that you just chose his behavior pattern. Most likely, so a man clearly see their mistakes and stop its manipulations.
If you recognize a manipulator in your man, but he refuses to change, and you cannot live without him, then you will have to work on yourself.
First, you will need to learn control your emotions.
You need to become stronger and learn to respond more calmly to his manipulations.
Secondly, you need to monitor the manifestation of kindness to a man, become stricter in relation to him.
Then he simply will not be able to play on your feelings, and accordingly, he will not be able to manipulate you.
Also remember that if you want to be in a relationship with a man a manipulator, but at the same time you want save your nerves and not suffer from deep spiritual woundsBut you need to follow three basic rules:
- Do not depend on the man. The less you depend on him, the less ways he has to manipulate you. And first of all it concerns financial independence.
But it is also important that you do not dissolve in it, do not extol it, do not consider it the center of your universe. Be independent.
- Do not cause pity. Try to control your emotions, do not make yourself a victim. Try not to let the man know that he offended you or hurt you. Otherwise, the manipulator will start to play on your feelings.
- Don't get fooled by his games. This is the most important rule. Watch your relationship, learn to recognize when a man tries to manipulate you and immediately stop it. Yes, the first time will be difficult. But this can be learned and then your partner simply will not have any chance of manipulation.
- And the most important thing: if your man is a manipulator, then such relationships cannot be called healthy. And if he does not want to change in any way and all the above-mentioned methods did not work - do not be afraid to leave him.
You can not always notice that you are in a relationship with a man a manipulator.
Most often they behave so competently that you can not admit it.
But after this article, having analyzed your boyfriend or husband, you will be able to recognize the manipulator and build a competent relationship with it.
How to recognize a male manipulator? Signs:
