In this article I would like to touch on one of the most important topics of humanity - the quality of life of most people. Why is the main part of the globe constantly dissatisfied with their lives? Reading the article, you will find answers to these questions.
It all starts with a young age
When a child is born, he initially sees the world from all sides - that is, he has the ability to accept his many-sided and multi-colored. In fact, this is the ideal life, which is why children are always happy and harmonious. However, parents are trying to tune their child for this world, limiting his world view to a very narrow state. Now I will explain what I want to say.
For example, a 3-year-old baby decided to walk in splendid isolation, quietly leaving home. And his parents are already looking for him, they have called all his friends and acquaintances, that is, they have caused a specific panic. After finding the child, the mother usually begins to scold him, they say, it is impossible to leave parents without asking, because this is dangerous and fraught with bad consequences. Only now the baby did not even understand what this is particularly dangerous for him, but then he had the first filter in his head in his life: “Walking alone is strictly prohibited”. As a result, he will not be able to fully understand the world, but will live a limited life, under the strict control of his parents.
Of course, I do not want to say that letting a child go for a walk at this age is supposedly normal. But you definitely shouldn't blame the kid for this - after all, he left home just because he decided to discover the world and its colors on his own. For him, everything seems beautiful and interesting, and in rude words you can discourage the kid from the whole hunt and desire to learn life further.
Further, the child becomes 7 years old, he goes to school, where they begin to tell him that for a good and fulfilling life he needs to learn only 4 and 5. And, for two, the student will get a lot from both the teachers and parents. Thus, a second filter is formed in the child’s mind: “In order to please adults, you need to learn“ good ”and“ excellent ”.”
You can believe me that a first grader AT ALL does not understand why he needs these marks, except in order to please everyone. He cannot critically argue that even the losers and the students will succeed in the future, and that for bad grades you can still love him. The child will think like this: I will only study at 5, otherwise I will be full of love. Thus, he again limited his life to another step.
A little later, after 5 years, this teenager is offered to become the leader of a school concert and perform on stage. Suppose he does not succeed, and everyone starts to laugh at him. And the parents, of course, will not explain to the child that they do not need to blindly trust the opinions of others, but should work on their mistakes and always go forward. Therefore, after such a mockery, a teenager may withdraw into himself and lose forever the desire to speak in front of a large number of people. Moreover, he may have a fear of talking with people, because everyone's laughter over his unsuccessful performance will constantly emerge in his memory.
Years later, he becomes a graduate, and wants to enter his favorite profession - for example, a railroad worker. But his parents tell him that he needs to go to an economic institute - because there, he says, it will be better. Moreover, they say it in a harsh tone, and do not even want to hear about their child's own choice. Most likely, he will go where his parents want, so as not to get anger from them, thus limiting himself even deeper.
And then he ends the university, wants to start a family, and again the parents can be against his choice in his personal life. A person who is intimidated to death, can in all obey his ancestors, thus completely breaking his life.
What do we get in the end?
So, we have an adult who is working on an unloved job, unhappy in his personal life, afraid to perform on stage and is not an independent person at all. What do you think - will his life be full and harmonious? Not. Most often, because of this, he will resort to alcohol and other drugs in order to temporarily get rid of his fears, and be a little real - that is, again a small child, who again is allowed: that is, to shout loudly, laugh, speak boldly in front of people and so on ... By the way, people drink alcohol in any doses for one reason only - they just want to relax from their internal prohibitions.
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I described a rough picture of how most people live in general. Parents do not care about their children at all, although they very much pretend to care. But they are not to blame for this - after all, they were also brought up - with the lack of sufficient attention, self-love and the freedom of their own choice.
Moreover, almost all people were taught to build their lives so that it was good not for them, but for people around them. That is, a person stops evaluating life on the question “Do I like it?”, But assesses it in the following way “Does your mom, dad, grandmother, Vasya, Tanya like it?” And so on. And any psychologist can tell you that if a person does not live in harmony with his desires, but tries to please everyone in a row - he will be unhappy 100%. That is why most people on Earth constantly complain about their fate and are extremely dissatisfied with their lives.
What to do?
First you need to start living for yourself. This does not mean that you will become an egoist - no, it was just inspired to you. You need to live the way you want it, and stop believing in what was imposed on you. For example, you wanted to start building your business - start it! Yes, you will be told that you will not succeed, and you will have thoughts that the case may fail. But it is better to try and have some% chance of a pleasant ending than not to do anything at all and stay with zero percent. Do you agree?
If you find it difficult to work on yourself and on your personality - contact a psychotherapist. This specialist will help you learn your own desires and aspirations and learn how to solve your problems in a rational way. Do not confuse with a psychiatrist - this is completely 2 different directions. The psychologist works with the person’s personality, and the psychiatrist only prescribes pills.
Thus, starting to build your future exclusively for yourself, you will quietly get out of the hell into which you have entered your entire past life. When you help yourself, you can help other people. And trying to be good for everyone when you yourself live, to put it mildly, is not good - this is clearly an irrational decision. I think you agree with me here.
Start from now on living for yourself, doing everything possible for it, and you will be fine. Verified
