In my articles, I constantly talk about the dangers of alcohol and cigarettes. I'm trying to help people get rid of addictions and enjoy sober life. I want to teach people to perceive life without drugs, as happiness and freedom, and not as an eternal oppressive ban on getting pleasure.
For this, the personality must be reconstructed. Sober lifestyle is difficult. It is much more difficult than constant indulgence in one's weaknesses and the search for pleasure in alcohol.
A person will need to “grow”, as it were, so that sober life becomes for him a source of joy and self-development. He needs to get rid of the personal reasons for his addiction. Otherwise, sobriety will be a disappointing sentence for a person.
That is why I do not approve of methods like "encoded", except for using them exclusively in complex cases. Since in such situations there may be a strong discrepancy between the development of the individual and the new way of life. After all, a person abandons bad habits only under duress, without understanding himself, why he drinks.
Of course, he will still have the opportunity to figure it out, but if he thinks that, having lost the opportunity to drink, he will completely solve the problem, he is mistaken. In order to enjoy sobriety, he will have to change his habits, his leisure culture, and solve many personal problems. Otherwise, he is doomed to suffer because of the impossibility of returning to the old habit.
Collective leisure culture
One of the important components of these beneficial metamorphoses is a change in the culture of leisure, including the collective one.
A person must learn to have a good time without drugs, enjoy the pleasure of rest, of communication, being sober.
This will be the topic of this article. I will tell you what leisure conditions must be met in order to experience the joy of sober pastime.
For an explanation of my next thought I will give a gastronomic example.
Before I encountered vegetarian cuisine, I thought that vegetarians eat like other people, only exclude meat from their diet. For example, you eat a rice patty, and a vegetarian eats just rice.
In fact this is not true. Vegetarian cuisine is a completely different culture of cooking and combination of ingredients. Many vegetarians do not just eat dishes that are familiar to everyone, but without meat; they dine on completely different dishes, in which there is an abundance of vegetables, legumes, spices, etc. A varied diet is required, and if a person eats simply “rice without a cutlet,” he will not receive all the necessary vitamins.
The same principle applies to the rejection of alcohol. In order for you to enjoy a sober holiday, not only alcohol should disappear, but the components of this holiday should also change.
It will not be "the same, just without beer." Why? The fact is that many of us are inculcated ideas about rest, associated exclusively with the collective use of drugs, including ethyl alcohol. This concept of recreation includes nightclubs, noisy bars, get-togethers at smoky kitchens with a bottle, etc.
Such a pastime complements alcohol, as well as a patty complements rice, in a well-known dish. But without alcohol, it will be the same as rice without burgers.
The conditions created in clubs, bars are adapted specifically for the use of alcohol. Therefore, a sober person in such conditions will be uncomfortable. Therefore, you need to change the culture of rest, then I will tell you how.
What should be the place?
First of all, the place should allow you to relax. In my opinion, uncomfortable conditions are created in bars and in many clubs: uncomfortable seats, narrow tables, lack of seating, loud music, and noise. In such an environment it is very difficult to relax without alcohol. And people start to drink, adding to the wallet of the owner of the place.
If you want to quit drinking alcohol, then, first of all, you want to exclude such places from the list of places of your leisure. No bars, taverns, noisy, crowded, uncomfortable clubs. No subways, benches in the cold and other places where you are uncomfortable.
First, you must sit, not stand, and this will allow you to relax. There should be enough space and comfort. You do not need a lot of noise and abundance of strangers.
Calm, cozy cafes or even a decent club with good music will do. The establishment should not specialize exclusively in alcohol. It will not be a "beer restaurant" with a cloud of smoke from the ceiling. This is not a club, where they go only get drunk.
If you are relaxing in nature, then also take care of your comfort by providing yourself and friends with places where you can sit or lie down.
Is it too complicated? You can argue that alcohol makes everything easier. No need to look for any special places to relax. With him it is good everywhere, even in the most evil and unsuitable for normal rest of institutions.
Yes it is. With alcohol, everything is much easier. But there is one big "BUT". When you drink in a bar or in a crowded club, you do not rest, you do not restore nerve cells, but, on the contrary, destroy them and kill your body. You can not call it a vacation. In addition, the next day you will have to wait for the most unpleasant consequences in the form of a hangover.
Alcohol just makes you less demanding. You don't care who you are, where you are and what you are currently busy with.
What should be the people?
These will be the people with whom you are interested, with whom you have much in common. These are not nearly familiar personalities; they are not only people with whom it is fun to “hang out” and drink. It must be your close friends.
Learn to be open and frank in communication. Your openness and sincerity will give rise to the same qualities in your interlocutors. As a result, communication will become interesting and frank.
Deep dialogue is able to liberate a person without any alcohol.
At the same time, your consciousness will remain clear and sober, you will not allow yourself too much and you will not talk about what you will regret later.
What should be classes?
You can come up with some kind of entertainment, or you can do without them, if you just like to chat. There are many board games and other ways to diversify leisure.
If you are in places of natural recreation and warm climate conditions, then there are plenty of ways to have a great time, such as a swim.
A great way of sober leisure is joint active leisure with elements of entertainment: mountain skiing, snowboarding, cycling, mountain hiking, etc. This is an excellent and useful pastime that charges you with good mood and positive emotions in a natural way.
I am writing this article, and the feeling that I am describing obvious facts does not leave me. Everybody, it seems, already knows what you can occupy yourself with during your leisure time.
But, I see that the culture of sober recreation is not very popular, especially in our country. Therefore, I think, there will be nothing bad if I remind people of banal things.
I want to make at least an insignificant contribution to the revival of the culture of sober, active, productive leisure, therefore I am writing about it.
What should be your mood?
Many people are accustomed to the fact that their fun, their mood practically does not require anything from them. They come to the party, begin to empty a glass of a glass and gradually the mood appears itself.
Under the influence of alcohol, people become liberated, they have a willingness to perform the most courageous acts. And then the adventures and mood as if find people themselves.
If you are not going to drink at a party, then the fun will have to look for yourself, overcoming shyness and isolation. We'll have to find topics for conversation and communicate with people without being embarrassed by ourselves.
Yes, it is more difficult than just drinking and waiting for the conversation to pour itself. But it is much better! Why?
If you are used to having fun only when you are drunk, then, having given up alcohol, you will sit in a company meeting with a long face, staying in confidence that fun is possible only with alcohol. But it is not.
Please do not think that I invent some unnecessary difficulties when you can solve everything with simpler and more accessible means: "drank and fun."
This difficulty is justified by the result. In my article why communication is necessary, I wrote that communication is an excellent source of self-knowledge. Communication, you can say, touches a huge number of "strings of your personality", causing certain psychological reactions.
If you watch these reactions, you can learn a lot about yourself. "Why do I feel embarrassed when they discuss this question? Why is it so difficult for me to talk about myself? Why do I want to seem better than I really am?"
These countless "Why?" help you know yourself and get rid of a lot of fears, complexes and social phobias.
And alcohol dulls these reactions, it suppresses awareness. And because of this, you do not take out of the communication those lessons that you could take out of it, being sober.
Many people love and appreciate the effect of ethyl alcohol for the fact that under it people get rid of shyness. But this happens only for a while. And alcohol only masks your problem. Your fears and complexes do not go anywhere, but remain with you after the intoxication has passed.
Only by meeting your complexes face to face, in a sober mind, can you realize and destroy them, develop your communication skills and self-control.
The emancipation that alcohol gives is unpredictable. Many people know the situation when people said a lot of superfluous, what should not be said.
In addition, intoxication activates the lowest human desires. Alcohol can be said to stimulate your ego. A drunk person really wants to impress others, and often he doesn’t even realize the comic of these actions. He wants to look better than he really is, to be "right", "noble", "experienced in every question", "the most charming and clever".
A drunk person listens less to others, he wants to expose the contents of his inner world as soon as possible, speak out earlier than others, make an impression.
Alcohol intoxication, as a rule, does not make people better, smarter.
It makes you stupid, makes you prejudiced, makes you overestimate your capabilities and suppresses the ability to understand other people.
All these things, which I have outlined above, impede full and healthy communication. The result of these things is just animal fun, inside which one person is needed by another just to maintain this mood! Whereas the center of this fun is not the man himself, but alcohol.
That is why sober communication is better than a drunken likeness of it! Healthy communication benefits you, helps you become aware of your shortcomings and cope with them. It does not always lead to unpredictable results and, of course, it is only good for your health, as it causes positive emotions.
Of course, alcohol helps many people to socialize, making them more friendly. But the strength of the personality is to reach these states without the use of intoxicants!
Therefore, do not give in to difficulties. Learn to communicate, learn to be sincere and frank in a sober state. Learn to overcome your complexes and internal stress. If you learn this, it will be your great advantage!
I do not drink alcohol for almost a year. The last time I drank it was for the New Year 2013. But already at that time, its use became episodic for me. After celebrating the new year, I became convinced that alcohol was no longer pleasing me. This has become something odd for me. I realized that I could do without him.
Since then, I have acquired a good skill to enjoy parties, meetings of friends without alcohol. I feel quite comfortable and can have fun being sober. This is not a difficulty for me. This is quite natural.
I celebrated my last birthday and even my wedding without using a single milliliter of alcohol (unlike my guests =)). Despite this, I had a great time.
But, I confess, when giving up alcohol at parties, there is one insidious moment. And you should know about it if you want to learn to have fun without alcohol.
The first time at some party (not at each, but it happens) may be a little uncomfortable for me. This must be natural and is the result of an abrupt change of scenery. I suddenly fall into a large gathering of people, I need to mobilize some of my mental resources, and, until I did, I may feel a little uneasy.
I used to always kill this condition with alcohol. But now, I know that you just need to give the brain a little bit to get used to the new environment. No need to interpret such a state as an order to drink (this is the cunning of this moment - many people do not stand up and drop to the bottle). Suffer a little, then get used and join the "fun" and "catch the wave." Don't expect it to be fun right away. You just need to get used to it, somehow “stir yourself up” and everything will go like clockwork.
Yes, as I said, it is more difficult to just take and drink. But it will develop excellent mood management skills.
Sobriety provides a choice
Of course, I can not say that without alcohol, everything is the same as with him. Now I can hardly jam all night until the morning and then sleep until the evening. I leave when my body tells me that it is tired. I do not stay at events that I don’t like. In the end, I save money because I do not spend it on alcohol.
Sobriety allows me to choose: either stay or leave and have a good sleep, go on my own or stay behind the wheel. She gives me the opportunity to not regret my behavior.
In general, sober parties, fun without alcohol - this is not some kind of perversion. For many people, including those who live in other countries, this is something taken for granted. Just as part of our culture impregnated with alcoholization, this looks very wild and unusual. But, nevertheless, it is possible. Try it!
