Love and relationship

How to push your man to develop relationships?

If a man is indecisive, then the girl has a question: how to push him to develop relationships.

In this case, it is important to consider the readiness of man, his psychological characteristics, the former alliance - whether he came out of him completely or he has another girl.

Main stages

Psychologists have found that relationship between a man and a woman There are 7 main stages.

Their duration, manifestation differs in different pairs, but there are similar features.

  1. Love. At this stage, there is a mutual interest, romance, a desire to get to know a person better. This is still far from love, but rather an obsession, a desire to possess, to know, to become closer.
  2. Satiety. Follows the first stage. Feelings cannot be clearly expressed all the time, people gradually get tired of each other, they already need more personal time and space. Partners are still interested in being together, but they can also quietly spend time separately. The duration of the transition to this stage is different. For some, it takes a few months, for others a year.

    If people live together and communicate closely, the stage can begin faster. If a couple meets only occasionally, supporting romantic feelings, then the second stage may begin later.

    In close contact, partners are beginning to see not only advantages, but also disadvantages, some of which are annoying.

  3. Rejection. There comes a doubt in the partner. Already there are no romantic feelings, all the flaws are exposed. At this stage, frustration and further breakdown often come, because it is no longer possible to live near a partner due to mutual misunderstanding and irritation.

    The problem is that breaking the old relationship, in the new they again reach this stage, eventually giving up on love and the opposite field, not realizing that the point is only in the peculiarities of human psychology.

  4. Tolerance. At this stage, partners put up with shortcomings and learn to perceive, to understand the person as he is, without trying to remake. No need to change the other, it is useless, and we do not have this right. It is better to direct the energy to your own changes, the struggle against egoism, and then relations improve naturally.

    Tolerance is the ability to see a person in a partner, to understand that he also has certain desires and needs, that you should not impose your opinions and attitudes.

  5. Service. At this stage, the person’s personality and dignity comes first. We are switching not to what we could take, but to what we could give. People do not require anything in return, they live side by side, care, understand, appreciate.
  6. Respect. Partners become the closest people, friends, they share experiences with each other, respect the personality, rejoice that this person exists side by side. The trust rises, partners easily guess the thoughts, desires, feelings of each other and do everything to maintain relationships, to be near.
  7. Love. She comes after many trials, a reassessment of values, a new look at a loved one. Not all couples reach the seventh stage, many take no decade, but in the end true love arises between two people - this is warmth, tenderness, mutual respect, mutual assistance, the ability to give and trust.

Most unions fall apart after the third stage, because it is the most dangerous, filled with negative experiences, mutual irritation and reproaches.

Those who manage to survive it, have a chance achieve a state of real feeling.

Features and developmental psychology of intimate relationships

Man and woman pass adaptation period getting used to the partner.

At the beginning, at the first contacts, stiffness may arise, people still do not know about the needs and peculiarities of the lover.

To understand how to build intimate relationships, take time.

A man is much easier in this regard. A woman has to open up, she may be ashamed of her shortcomings or a little sexual experience.

Partners in the process of living together learn get to know another person better, bring him pleasure.

Often found sexual incompatibility when people need a different amount of intimate relationships per week or when one partner is more experienced and relaxed, and the other is afraid to open up.

To come to harmonization of intimate relationships, a woman needs to know the intimate zones of her man.

However, the man should not forget about the fact that his partner is required to meet their needs sexually.

Over time, a couple happens saturation. Partners knew each other well, intimate relationships became monotonous, the lack of novelty can push on the search for adventure on the side. That is why you should not ignore the intimate question.

Crisis periods

Crises accompany relationships throughout life together people.

These periods make it possible to take a different look at the partner, rethink values, life goals, and determine priorities.

  1. Adaptation. Young people begin to live together, meet with life, the need to plan a joint budget, housekeeping, and leisure. At this stage, there may be a discrepancy of interests, there are difficulties in the organization of life, people may have different life rhythms and needs.
  2. Birth of first child. The family has not yet fully strengthened, many problems have not yet been resolved. With the advent of the baby, the financial situation, the daily routine, the way of organizing life and leisure change, the intimate life becomes less common.

    All this together causes a clash within the family, if people are not ready for the birth of the baby and work on marital relations.

  3. Leaving the family of the last child. Parents are left alone with each other, now the attention is completely directed to the partner, the search for flaws again occurs. The period is especially acute if it coincides with the mid-life crisis. At this time there is a greater likelihood of family breakdown if the spouses do not have the desire to work on relationships and save the marriage.

How to develop a relationship with a girl?

Girls need attention. If you are committed to creating a serious union, then communication need to build accordingly.

To begin to develop relationships, you must invite a girl for a date.

Try to find out or at least imagine that she will be pleased. Invite her to the cinema, cafe, or just walk along the promenade.

If you find it difficult to have conversations, you will have to think up the topics for conversation in advance so that you do not have to be silent. Keep up the conversation, show your interest.

In the early stages of dating you do not need to ask too much personal questions - this can scare a candidate away. Speak on general topics, hobbies, recreation.

Rules of the first date:

  • choose a place in advance;
  • you should be able to talk. If you went to the cinema, then invite a girl to drink coffee after the session;
  • take your time with intimacy. Of course, as an option, you can check the girl's availability - whether she agrees to sex on the first date;
  • don't push Do not immediately begin to talk about children, marriage, preferred personality traits, salary, etc. These conversations are more likely to scare away.

The first date passed, the girl agreed to the second and even the third. And here it is very important to direct the relationship in the right direction, improve and not scare the girl. Recommendations for keeping the relationship on the right wave:

  1. Spend a lot of time together. This will get to know each other better. However, if she is busy, you should not insist on a date in the ultimatum - personal time and space should be with everyone.
  2. Make compliments, but do not flatter. The art of compliments must be learned. They should not be too much, otherwise they simply cease to be noticeable. But rare compliments will give you a person inattentive, shy or indifferent.
  3. Learn to listen, memorize. If you once in a conversation, remember the interesting facts from the story told by a girl, she will be pleased.
  4. Make surprises. It is not necessary to buy expensive gifts, especially in the first stage of dating.

    A surprise can be in an unusual place for a date, romantic acts, small but pleasant presents.

  5. Rarely argue. No need to prove to the girl her superiority, a wise woman will see in her man a knight and so.
  6. Do not demand to always be near, fulfill exclusively your desires, complete obedience. Everything needs balance and respect for common interests.

Relationships stalled: how to be?

How to make a relationship better? It also happens that you seem to meet, but there is no spark between you, and relationships seem to be on the same level.

Try to surprise the girl, do something unusual, commit a heroic act - just do not forget about social norms and safety rules.

Sometimes relationships don't develop because just not your man.

He has other priorities, life values, the ideal of a man. You may try to invigorate the relationship, but it’s not worth it.

As an option - temporarily not seen. The girl, feeling that he is losing you, will show interest. In some cases, jealousy helps, but here one should be careful and try not to alienate the person.

What if the guy does nothing?

Does the guy do anything to develop relationships? Listen to the advice of psychologists:

  1. Understand whether you really need this guy. Try a little exercise: imagine that you live together, you have a common child.

    Whether there is a feeling of comfort, pleasure or, on the contrary, for you this relationship is just a temporary stage before the real ones.

  2. Change the image. Changing the image attracts attention.
  3. Invite him on a date or arrange a joint trip.
  4. Try to get to know him.
  5. Do not always be strong, know how to sometimes show weakness, so that the guy would like to protect you.

How to push a man to action?

You see an attractive candidate, but he is absolutely does not seek to develop relationships.

For a start, think about whether it is necessary for him. It is possible that the man is afraid of a serious relationship or he had a failed previous marriage.

You have to put yourself so that he I was not afraid to come closer with you. Be confident, be socially active and do not live only as a man. Excessive assertiveness pushes away - a man by nature wants to remain free.

Show yourself a worthy woman, a good housewife. A man should feel sorry for losing such a woman.

Serious relationship - This is when both of you are working on them, ready to save the union, despite the differences that arise. If only one of the partners has an interest, then in some cases it is worth considering whether it is necessary to waste time on it.

If a man is not decisive, how to behave a woman? Opinion psychologist:

Watch the video: 10 Ways to Build Trust In a Relationship (November 2024).