It is believed that more often changes the stronger sex. In fact, women go for it at least.
Betrayal is a big tragedy, and men often have to wonder how to survive the betrayal of his wife Do not fall into depression and do not give up on a relationship completely.
Causes and psychology of female infidelity
Why do women go for treason?
It would seem that there is a family, perhaps children, a close person nearby.
What pushes betrayal? Psychologists, sociologists have identified several main reasons why women decide to betray:
- The lack of intimacy. Intimate relationships are an important part of living together. Everyone has physiological needs. If for some reason a woman does not receive a sufficient amount of closeness to her husband, then she begins to look for her on the side. Dissatisfaction with the sexual life is one of the most frequent reasons why a woman decides to commit adultery.
She may endure many years suffering from inattention, but one day she will meet a man who will give what she needs so much.
- Revenge. If the wife found out about her husband's infidelity, she may want to take revenge for the pain. In some cases, it is just enough suspicion. She can retaliate for other reasons - she left, did not understand, did not pay attention, often lingers at work. The female psyche is arranged in a different way, to which the masculine, vindictiveness is sometimes initially embedded in the character.
- Lack of attention. Any woman needs compliments, thanks for what she does for her husband, home, children. She wants to feel needed, sometimes she wants to receive even small compliments. There are men who are not accustomed to taking care of a partner. It is difficult for them to express even simple words of gratitude. But a woman needs it because of her emotionality. The lack of attention is expressed in the fact that the man is not ready, does not want to help with the simplest things about the house. As a result, a desperate woman is looking for emotions, caring on the side.
- Lack of experience. It is time for love to pass, begins to live, and with it comes boredom. The couple less and less leaves the house, makes trips, evenings, weekends are the same. Impressions, new events - the natural need of the human psyche. If a woman does not get them with her spouse, then begins to look on the side.
- Random love. Sympathy on the side can appear in any person. Often there are office romances. Someone plunges into feelings completely, the other holds in his hands, copes with the sympathy and addiction that has appeared and remains with his spouse. Love can suddenly cover, and then the brain, the logic is no longer power over a woman. The ability to control yourself is a good quality, but not everyone has it.
There are women falling in love easily, but superficially. Without thinking about the consequences, they surrender to the power of the senses.
- Habit. There is a category of women for whom treason is natural. Even if they marry, they can allow themselves to be left on the side. They are not tormented by the feeling of guilt, their psyche, the body require diversity. It is useless for such ladies to forbid something, to control, their nature will one day prove itself anyway, and another treason will take place.
Whatever the reasons, before making a responsible decision, you need to think seriously about the consequences and your own actions.
10 reasons why women change. Psychology of female treason:
Can you survive the betrayal and forget?
Cheating spouse is stress for husband.
Immediately difficult to understand, assess the motives of the act. It seems that the whole world turned upside down, a loved one has betrayed, and there is no excuse for this.
Is it possible to survive this? Yes, the first time is not easy. There is a feeling of anger, indignation, resentment. You do not want to understand, you can not forgive. This is the first stage of reaction to the situation of betrayal, all people go through it.
After a while it becomes easier. Much depends on how the spouses resolved this situation, whether they spoke, whether the motives of the act were clarified.
Often, both partners are to blame for what happened — the woman who decided to commit adultery and the husband who did not see the signals that later led to the act.
Survive treason is possible. First of all, this work on your own state. If depression occurs, we must fight it. If anger, aggression is ready to spill out, you need to find a way to stop, so as not to harm yourself and other people.
The main thing in this issue - are you ready to forgive and forget about what happened, are you ready to trust again. It is important to understand that the relationship will no longer be the same. That love that was before will not return.
No matter how you try to forget, the fact that has happened will forever remain in your memory. Yes, the brightness of the event will be erased, the emotions will become weaker.
You may never talk about it again, and betrayal will never happen again. However small mistrust between you will remainand my wife has a sense of guilt.
A strong couple can survive the fact of betrayal, learn from this the relevant lessons and not make more similar mistakes. But it all depends on both spouses, their sincere desire maintain and improve relationships.
How to survive the betrayal of his wife? Opinion psychologist:
How to live on?
We come to one of the most important issues - how to survive the betrayal. Much depends on your relationship, the presence of sincere love and affection.
The duration of the union is also important - the event occurred in the first or second year of living together or after 10 or more years. In some couples, treason is deliverance.
If your union has long outlived itself, then sooner or later there must have been a reason for it to finally explode. Analyze your last time together and answer the questions:
- “Were you satisfied with the relationship?”;
- “How did you communicate with each other?”;
- “What did you lack?”;
- “Were you both ready to work on relationships, save them?”
These questions are important for understanding yourself and the opposite side.
What to do to survive the betrayal?
- Understand the cause of the act. In this case, the best way is to talk heart to heart.
- In any problems, with rare exceptions, both partners are guilty. It’s not enough to get married and just live together. We must work on relationships, learn to compromise, not only take, but give.
- Discover, Does the wife repent of their deeds?, whether she wants to continue living together, whether she considers betrayal a mistake.
- Try to ask. This is the most difficult. To forgive is to let the situation go, not to return to it again, not to blame during the next family quarrels.
Forgiveness is the inner state of the psyche, and not everyone is able to achieve it.
Each family individually experiencing the fact of betrayal. And the decision on what to undertake is sought based on whether the spouses want to live together further.
Should I forgive?
How to forgive a wife who has changed?
Forgiveness is your inner state, willing to let go of the situation.
Often men ask themselves the question - is it possible to forgive the betrayal of a spouse? In many ways, the ability to do this depends on the qualities of your soul and the characteristics of your character.
For someone to forgive betrayal is impossible, this breaking the relationship forever and irrevocably. The other, loving too much, forgives and is even ready to save the marriage.
You will have to decide what is important to you, whether you want to stay close to this person and at the same time not to recall the act.
Forgiveness is long work on yourself and your feelings. It does not come immediately. And these are not only words, but the internal state, the solution. Of course, you can forgive treason if you want and are ready to do it.
Is it necessary and possible to forgive the betrayal of his beloved wife? In this video:
How to understand the spouse and save the marriage?
Wife changed, but wants to save the family? Many couples survived the fact of treason while continuing to live together. It is likely that wife repents, apologizes and live on together.
- You will have to believe her and learn to trust again. It will take time.
- Talk to your spouse. Let no secrets remain between you. If she wants to continue living together, then find out the reasons for which she committed this act.
- Discuss that you and she did not like in living together.
- Work on relationships. If you figure out the conflict points and differences, eliminate them, go for compromises. Diversify your life - go on a trip, change your place of residence, circle of friends.
- Lock up his wife at home, deprive her of communication with her friends, work - not the best solution. This means that you cannot learn to trust again.
- Work over their self esteem. Probably, you will have jealousy, but this feeling arises because of the lack of self-confidence.
The desire to maintain a relationship must be mutual. If one of the partners decided that everything is over, it does not make sense to insist. In this case, the best way out is to let go, to give freedom.
How to help the man from whom his wife left to another man? Practical tips:
I can not accept: what to do?
You followed the recommendations of psychologists, worked on yourself, but could not forgive cheating spouse.
You have a conflict with yourself - you understand how a dear person did the wrong thing, and you still feel hurt.
Every day, thoughts come back on the day when they learned about treason. it again reinforces negative emotions and the memory does not forget.
- Try to control your thoughts, stop them. As soon as you start thinking about treason, say stop.
- If you can not forget, then the situation is not fully worked out.
- Go to the family psychologist, it is better to do it together.
If your character does not allow you to completely forgive your character, then consider whether you really should live together.
Unresolved situation eventually leads to new conflicts, accusations.
Relationships will continue to collapse.. In some cases, ending the relationship and starting a new life is the best solution for both spouses.
How to survive the betrayal of his wife? The opinion of the priest: