In the constraint there are no real "pluses". Although many people confuse shyness and modesty, yet these qualities of character have a huge difference. Modesty can embellish a person, and shyness, excessive restraint - will prevent him from achieving important goals in life, will cause internal discord, lack of harmony with the world, with people.
How to cope with uncertainty, discomfort and fears?
The answers to all these questions are in the person himself, in his inner world, in his relations with others.
The reasons for excessive shyness in an adult can be the following:
- features of a psychological warehouse (introvert, extrovert);
- psychological trauma in childhood associated with peers;
- negative attitudes of parenting;
- wrong behavior in society, etc.
There can be as many reasons as the shy people themselves. And for each method of correcting the situation, the method of gaining confidence should be your own.
Introverts and extraverts: who has a stronger natural tendency to constrain?
See also: 5 introversion myths
Depending on how a person perceives the world and how he sees his place in it, his personality possesses certain qualities of character. A natural innate feature affects the process of human interaction with the external environment, but this does not mean, for example, fatal shyness. Work on yourself helps us change, reveals our best sides and transforms negative ones.
For example, introverts more difficult to contact with the world, and the tendency to constrain them above. Extroverts trust others more, but along with openness often receive from the world unflattering assessments, criticism, reproaches and dissatisfaction with their actions. This causes the formation of such people low self-esteem, awkwardness, emotional excitability. And the questions "how to stop being ashamed of people, how to respond to their mistakes?" Introverts have natural shyness, extroverts have acquired one. But there is a problem and you have to work on it. If, of course, shyness interferes.
How to work on your shyness?
Many of our complexes, fears, prejudices are formed by ourselves. And you can cope with them with the help of psychologists, trainers, spiritual mentors. Including with shyness. There is a reason for every problem. Find it, designate, rethink, or just live is quite enough to weaken one or another psychological clamp.
If the constraint arose as a result of childhood injuries, then to correct the situation it is important to plunge deep into the problem, forgive the offenders and let go of the old. How much time it takes to work out injuries and how the subconscious will cope with this forgiveness depends on the nature of the person, on the desire to sincerely forgive others and change himself. You can use the services of psychologists, constellers, psychotherapists. You can most carry out the resuscitation of childhood diseases.
If constraint arises as a result of excessively high self-control, rigid frameworks and norms imposed by someone, then an awareness of the uniqueness of oneself and one’s world can cope with the complex. How can you stop being ashamed of what limits our lives?
There are 2 ways.
The first is to understand that no one can ever live this life for you.
The second is to adhere to only state and moral laws, the commandments of God. Live your sense of duty, responsibility, decency, and not strangers.
The habit of being shy is the habit of looking around. On others. Imitate others, envy, celebrate their imperfections. It is impossible to forbid people to evaluate themselves, but one should not live only by these assessments. Most often they are purely subjective, unfair and narrow. And your life is not the same: it is multi-colored, diverse, rich in events and meetings! Do not create boundaries for life. If there is a desire to be shy, remember that your life is only yours and depends on you, and not on those who evaluate, control, criticize, doubt.
Parents play an important role in the formation of shyness in people. Alas, in relation to their children, they are often unfair. They do not add confidence to their children, are too strict with them, suppress with their authority, make them do something that is alien to the child. Hence, isolation and shyness - the fear of not meeting parental expectations.
How to stop being shy in this case? How to get rid of parental care, becoming an adult?
Forgive parents and accept them for what they are. To live your life, do what you love, build relationships with your children on trust and openness. And parents to thank for the experience and save them love and respect. Whatever their reproaches in childhood, an adult is able to correct mistakes of parental education. Himself.
The world is interesting, and the more a person studies him, notices, feels, the less he concentrates on himself, on his shortcomings. And on the constraint as well. Direct and active communication with people is the key to looseness and self-confidence. "Fight fire with fire". You can say so. It is important to find like-minded people, people to whom you are interested, who can learn something from you. Such interlocutors will not be important to your shyness. They will see in you all the best, interesting, valuable.
Shyness greatly hinders success in business, creativity, any other self-realization. In this case, it is important to be fully absorbed by the process, and not by the opinions of other people about your projects, paintings, books, etc. It is important to act, and not to seek ratings and praise!
Any concentration on the present moment helps a person to open up, because to stop being ashamed is to become oneself: sincere, real, alive.
There are many more recommendations that directly or indirectly allow a person to cope with shyness:
* live here and now;
* raise your self-esteem;
* to strengthen the faith in their own strength;
* enjoy small successes;
* set goals correctly and achieve them;
* always have an opinion;
* to engage in spiritual practices;
* strengthen the nervous system, etc.
And if you like to be shy, but you are reading this article, because others are constantly telling you about this shortcoming, then think, is it so important to you to fight with yourself? It’s one thing - if you yourself are hard to be shy, and it’s quite another - if this is a degree of comfort for you!
Related articles:
How to become a sociable and interesting person - 7 most useful tips
How to stop being closed
