Self-esteem is one of the key factors influencing how a person builds his life. Low self-esteem causes failure, but it is fixable. The type of personal perception does not apply to innate qualities, because it is formed during life and, accordingly, changes. If you make an effort, you can get rid of any complexes; from the downtrodden and unsure turn into the best version of yourself, learn to laugh at minor problems, easily sharing them.
Self-rating scale
Basics of perception are laid in childhood and adolescence. The puberty period is often associated with complexes, and this is not far from the truth. Even adults are not always able to overcome its negative consequences. Teenage complexes accompany some life, others successfully overcome them. But there is another extreme, when it is difficult to admit one's shortcomings, to see the positive in others.
For convenience of studying, a special scale has been created. It distinguishes five main types - low, low, adequate, high, overestimated.
Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem is a recognition that in the current period of life certain results have not been achieved. It can be observed in those who are still far from their goals. The species is considered the worst, although this opinion is unfounded. The hardest of all is those who have low self-esteem. This type has advantages.
A definite plus is that a person is guided by his own dreams. He understands that the desired work has not yet been found, it will only be possible to get an apartment in a few years, and for serious relations he does not have enough willingness to accept another entirely. It would seem that the realization of deficiencies is the first step towards their elimination. However, low self-esteem still does not equal adequate, so its owner is sometimes hard to deal with oppressive thoughts about his inferiority. But it is easier for him to get rid of self-deprecation than for those whose self-esteem is too low.
Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem is an understatement of qualities and skills; comparison to someone else's favor. It is far from adequate just as overpriced. Self-doubt is constantly compared with others, making disappointing conclusions. It seems to them that someone is more successful, successful, handsome, talented. Their positive qualities are ignored, perceived as insignificant.
Women are more complex because of their appearance. Jokes about "an ugly girlfriend" have a grain of truth - many are afraid to be on the spot an unattractive friend next to a fatal beauty. Girls turn to plastic surgeons, trying to fix, in their opinion, not the best facial features or remove the flaws of the figure. Orientation on known models, whose pictures are always carefully retouched, deprives individuality, makes them complex and reject their appearance.
For men, a serious blow is a comparison with more successful classmates / acquaintances / relatives / celebrities. The fact that someone achieves a goal and has everything that can be dreamed of hurts self-conceit. These comparisons often cause apathy or depression. However, both men and women experience discomfort for various reasons. Girls envy friends who have achieved high positions; young people fall into despair due to the fact that their friend is considered more attractive in the circle of friends.
An effective way to increase self-love is to abandon comparisons or at least minimize them. Focusing on self-development is much more effective than suffering because friends got apartments, cars, got married successfully or got married. The latter negates the desire to become better, kills it radically.
Adequate self-esteem
Adequate self-esteem is the optimal perception criterion. It allows you to deeply analyze your own behavior, skills, qualities. Those who perceive themselves adequately can easily admit mistakes, notice mistakes and seek to correct them. Such individuals tend to strive for improvements - both in themselves and in life in general.
Owners of this type easily laugh at themselves, realize their imperfections, but see the best qualities. These people do not set unattainable goals. It is alien to them to prove to the rest imaginary superiority, to brag about achievements, to try to stand out by any means - most likely, they outgrew it after the end of puberty. There are those who managed to find a "middle ground" in adulthood, which proves the possibility of change in any period. Adequate self-esteem is not a gift from above, not a sign transmitted genetically; it can be formed. It takes a lot of time, but the result justifies all the efforts.
A high self-evaluation
High self-esteem - an objective awareness of their own superiority in anything. Characterized by successful, independent, accomplished personalities. You should not consider it the best option compared to adequate, because there is a risk of pride. But high self-esteem is preferable to low or overestimated, especially if it is supported by real facts.
For its owners, it is typical to strive for success, rejoice at even insignificant victories, highlight their strengths. They understand that in some industries they are superior to other employees, and certain tasks can be completed without applying titanic efforts. There is nothing negative about it. It is necessary to ensure that the ability to think critically and not to praise yourself.
Heightened self-esteem
High self-esteem is the other extreme; the opposite of understated. It is no less dangerous, although for some reason it is considered more preferable.
In one case, this type is a consequence of complexes. Trying to overcome the rejection of himself, a person clings to any personal quality, turning it into a positive one. At the same time, it is inherent to prove to others their own exclusiveness and significance. Surrounding people consider such actions indicators of arrogance and pride. In reality, attempts to assert themselves signal depressed complexes, which were worth fighting otherwise.
Another option for the development of high self-esteem - the impact of the environment. Parents bring up pride in the child, constantly emphasizing its uniqueness, talent, originality. They do it with the best of intentions, but the consequences are deplorable. A grown-up person who does not know how to evaluate himself soberly grows up from a kidded baby. He has been living separately for a long time, he works, he chooses the type of leisure himself, but he did not get rid of the parental attitudes that are stuck in his head.
The inability to criticize oneself leads to a distorted perception of reality — it seems that the whole world is opposed; constantly lacking approval; colleagues and acquaintances seem worse, unworthy. At the peak of such experiences comes the realization of non-ideality. It is sometimes accompanied by depression, followed by a global reappraisal. But some are not "cured" by continuing to consider themselves to be the best until the end of their lives and take offense that others do not notice this.
A certain level of perception cannot be considered a sentence. Low self-esteem can turn into adequate. It depends on different things - the environment, human aspirations, goals. Anyone can adjust perception if desired, supported by actions. The situation is static in one case - if you do not try to change anything, asserting that this is an innate quality. Complexes are eliminated - either independently or (in some cases) with the help of specialists - psychologists, psychoanalysts.
