Mutual sympathy, developing into a real deep feeling - perfect example beautiful love stories.
But often the situation is such that the boy in love or the girl does not truly understand why the object of their tender feelings does not reciprocate and does not wish to establish a serious relationship.
Main reasons
Unrequited feeling is always painful. Especially when the object of sympathy seems to be not against communication, but it is kept at a certain distance for unknown reasons.
Why the girl does not want a relationship:
- She does not consider the guy as a potential lover. Perhaps she likes completely different types of young people, or she just waits for her “prince”. She is pleased to talk with a guy who is always there, discuss various issues, even walk somewhere together. But at the same time, she firmly holds him in the frendzone, while the guy frankly does not understand such behavior on her part.
- Bad experience of past relationships and difficult parting. In this case, the girl just needs time to recover and restore inner strength for a new feeling.
- Lack of experience with the opposite sex.
This is especially true of very young ladies, who are simply afraid to do “something wrong” and in every possible way delay the transition of communication to a new level.
- Negative example in the family. If the parents are constantly quarreling, are divorced, or the mother every day insists to the daughter that “all men are goats” and “they need only one thing,” the girl is unlikely to trust the guys and plunge into romantic relationships.
Why a man does not want a relationship:
- The girl did not "hooked" him. Totally. It seems to be both pretty and pleasant, but there was no “spark”. And there is no attraction.
- The load of past relationships. Especially if he was not the initiator of the break, and his feelings for the ex-girlfriend did not get cold. Poor family relationships between father and mother can also play a role, causing subconscious fear to repeat their fate.
- He still "did not walk up" and "not matured" to the relationship, in principle, and not just with a particular girl.
True or just a trick?
All people are different. And life circumstances for all, too, may be different. Surprisingly, a girl may not really want a relationship if:
- In the near future she intends to seriously study, careerby developing your own business or conquering sports heights, and amorous things will only distract her and lead her off the intended path;
- going to go to another countryand to start a relationship, so that after leaving to suffer and cry in the pillow of the night away, she absolutely does not want to.
But it also happens that with her “unwillingness of relationships” the girl seeks only to stir up the interest of the guy to her own person and awaken the hunter's instinct in him.
Guys are usually more straightforward and will not go on such tricks.
They have another extreme, which consists in the incredible complexity of voicing the girl the real reason for not wanting to meet, if she simply does not like her.
They may lie endlessly about the work-related busting at work, the experience of past relationships that “never let go” and the traumas of childhood, but even under torture they won’t tell the girl that she would indifferent.
Tips for guys
Chosen woman says she is not ready for a relationship at the moment
The reasons for this behavior girls can be different.
Perhaps for the near future she has serious plans for life (a difficult period at the university, adaptation at a new job, moving to another city or even a country) and she wants to direct all her strength to achieve the desired result.
Loving relationships, in her opinion, can only interfere, and therefore for the time being she does not need them.
It may well be that simply cunning, trite "stuffing your own worth."
Or she is accustomed to male attention and seeks to keep around as many guys as possible, thus increasing her own self-esteem.
That is why she does not say a definitive "no", giving at least a little hope.
She does not want to meet, but writes
Unfortunately, this behavior on the female side is quite common. She doesn't seem to want a relationship, but far from me. Calls, SMS, messages in social networks - and now the guy again feels hope ...
And here it is important to slow down a bit and take a sober look at the situation: when exactly does she write? What is the nature of these messages?
If this happens every time she needs help and you rush headlong to her across the city at any time of the day or night - most likely she simply uses you.
You are for her - backup option until someone else appears next to it (perhaps a new lover, or just another admirer like you, only more promising).
What to do in a similar situation?
First of all, decide do you need such a relationship "In one gate".
And simply stop responding to her messages, while maintaining self-esteem.
The girl does not take the initiative
The reasons similar behavior may be different:
- the girl is by nature very shy and afraid to take the initiative;
- you have spoiled her too much with your super-attention, that it never even occurred to her to do something herself;
- you're just not interested in her.
Straight talk and discussion of the current situation will help to understand the true reason.
How to get attention?
How to achieve a girl who does not want a relationship? Counter question: is it necessary? The answer can only be positive if you sure of mutual sympathy, and the reason for reluctance lies only in certain circumstances.
In this case it is worth:
- try to show her your best qualities (intelligence, responsibility, loyalty, honesty, gallantry, sense of humor);
- be ready to help and support in difficult times (but do not overdo it so that it simply does not start using you);
- for the time being, stop showing your sympathy: let her think that your feelings have cooled down and begin to regret it.
Sometimes it makes sense and completely out of sight for a long time. If she still has feelings for you, this will allow you to feel the need to communicate with you, which over time can turn into a closer relationship.
If nothing gives results, you should not spend your strength and energy on a person who does not need you.
Believe, there are a lot of girls around, and rid of destructive feelings You will surely meet your soul mate.
Recommendations to girls
The guy does not offer to meet
If your communication takes up most of your free time, you talk on any topics and even make plans, but officially you are friends, it is likely that your lover belongs to those men who consider the initiative the prerogative of women.
Either he is afraid of your refusal (due to a bad experience in the past), or he is very shy of taking the first step.
If in reciprocity there is no doubt, you can safely proceed to actions that will push him to a more serious relationship:
- Praise and admire. But not himself, but his actions. And do not connect flattery - guys feel false.
- Separate his interests. It is not necessary to sign up for women's basketball, but to be aware of the composition of his favorite team is still worth it.
- Learn to listen. Moreover, it’s not trite nodding and picking from boredom with a fork in a salad, namely, to hear what he says. Guys really appreciate it.
- Do not push. You should not strive to dominate the relationship: let the last word be for the guy, and you only competently and imperceptibly bring him to this.
- Push him to an important decision. It is necessary to create a situation in which the guy would realize your importance in his life and was very scared that he might lose you. The method is quite extreme, but it works completely.
- Flirt. It is not necessary to talk about your feelings and desires out loud: a languid look, a charming smile, an "accidental" touch will surely do their job.
If nothing helps, and patience is running out, you will have to open your heart.
You can just frankly talk to him, and you can write a romantic letter or record a voice message.
I know he likes me, but he doesn't want a relationship
Oddly enough, most men tend to use this language in situations where girl they just do not likebut to say it in her eyes is death to them.
It is possible that, by virtue of his immaturity, he is simply not ready for a serious relationship involving responsibility and loyalty. Or it is oppressed by a heavy break of the past connection, and it is not yet striving for a new one.
In any case, it is important to answer the question: am I ready to wait for the guy of this relationship to want? May be, it makes sense to leave this person alone and try to distract? New hobby, new acquaintances, new image, new love!
It is likely that after some time the guy will "mature", and then you will decide whether you need a relationship with him or not.
What categorically should not be done in this situation?
No matter how much you want to show your importance in the life of a loved one, there are several "iron" taboos in a situation when he does not want to enter into a relationship:
- "Buy" love. Expensive gifts, payment for purchases, money for a taxi ... Of course, a person will be immensely grateful to you and will feel your importance. And then - either he will start to use your kindness without end, or he will feel obliged. But neither the first nor the second with this feeling have anything in common.
- Sacrifice oneself. Refusal of own plans, career, desires in the name of ephemeral happiness with a beloved is the main sign of a painful and destructive feeling. In such a situation it is very important to stop in time and understand that your life is the main thing that you have and to waste it on someone is wrong. If you cannot cope with the problem yourself, you may need the help of a psychologist.
- Change appearance. Even if your sweetheart likes busty blondes or pumped up machos, it doesn’t mean that having repainted, "making" a breast or building a mountain of muscles, you will immediately win unlimited love.
By changing yourself to please someone, you risk losing not only your own face, but also your inner world, receiving in return only disappointment and a feeling of emptiness from a shattered dream.
Understand that a loved one does not want a relationship with you - painful and insulting. But before you begin to feel sorry for yourself and indulge in suffering, you should understand the true causes of the situation.
After all, sometimes you can fight for feelings! But if the game is not worth the candle, the main thing - do not despair, take yourself in hand and get rid of old feelings, clearing a place for new, always happy!
What if the girl does not want a relationship? Find out about this from the video:
