Useful tips for women every day: how to become happy?

Everyone dreams of a happy and interesting life and has own presentation about what he needs to achieve happiness and well-being.

It is useful to know how to become a happy woman: tips for every day will help most women maintain a good mood, feel the harmony and joy.

Women's happiness: what is it?

Definition "woman's happiness" can be found in films, TV shows, books, conversations with others, in songs, even very old ones, in the speeches of various public figures.

Some men are sure that it is absolutely necessary for them to know what female happiness is, because information about what will make any woman happy will be valuable to every man who is in a love relationship.

The concept of "female happiness" usually includes the possession of all that connected with family and family well-being:

several healthy and obedient children;
a good, reliable and loving husband (in some particularly radical ideas the husband is considered good and loving even when he doesn’t beat too often and works somewhere);
comfortable apartment (house);
calm, a feeling of well-being;
sufficient amount of funds;
relatives with good health;
the opportunity not to work and be a housewife (in the ideas of others about women's happiness, this item is not present in all cases, but is common, especially in countries in which the traditional way prevails).

All these points are not something negative, and the desire to live quietly, raise children, take care of the household, hug and kiss her husband in the evenings can be quite clear and definite part of some women about happiness. But not all.

The concept of "female happiness" is integral part of the mentality most of the Slavic countries that were part of the USSR.

But how sensible is it in the 21st century to assume that absolutely all women will be happy if they receive the same living conditions related to the so-called “women's happiness”?

Most women get female gender socialization, which includes:

Education, aimed at the development of the girl qualities that are considered strictly feminine: meekness, sensitivity, obedience, hard work, patience.
Girls are taught to be accurate, modest, can be banned from climbing trees and running fast.
The common expression “You're a girl!” Is often used as a method of pressure, they say, since you managed to be born with two X chromosomes, then you please love cleaning and sewing, and not toy guns and running around in the yard.
Public influence, dictating how a woman should behave, how she should look, what goals to have, and so on. This influence comes from everywhere: surrounding people, art books, films, comics, games, magazines tell in one form or another about how “as it should be”. At the same time, others, noticing that the girl / girl behaves somehow wrong, can begin to insult her, poison, try to "remake".

All this increases the likelihood that the girl, as an adult, will want precisely that which was imposed on her by society: parents, teachers, artistic content, glossy magazines.

In the modern world, ideas about how to educate boys and girls, about what a girl and a woman should be, are rapidly changing.

If the family of the girl parents have broad views, they can refuse to educate her according to the generally accepted canons. Will she be happy by receiving what is called "women's happiness" if she has very different life aspirations? Hardly.

“Women's happiness” is a concept left over from the time when the only role assigned to a woman was closely connected with family and household.

In developed countries, he is gradually becoming obsolete, and this is completely normal: modern society needs much more strong, strong-willed women who can work well and clearly see life goals, and not gentle meek housewives hiding behind their husbands.

And the ideas of women themselves about what they should be, are changing. Therefore, talking about women's happiness, it is necessary to talk about happiness in general, without regard to gender.

What does a woman need to be happy?

Based on the findings in the section above, every woman for happiness need something of their own.

The ideas of women about happiness most often include the following:

Friendly, loving partner. Many girls and women want to be loved. Ideas about the ideal partner are different for each, but usually women want their partner to be intelligent, understanding, interesting, kind, patient, responsible.
Good family. Family perceptions can also be different, but when talking about family life, most women report that they want their family to feel comfortable and protected. In this case, it may not be children, if the couple belongs to childfree.
Strong mental and somatic health. It is difficult to be happy if health is not normal.
Therefore, the absence of mental and somatic diseases (or the ability to control their symptomatic manifestations) is the basis of happiness.
Good, promising work with a fairly high salary. Every person is more comfortable living with the thought that he is protected, can provide for himself if something happens. The main components of an ideal job are a good salary, a friendly team (including bosses), and career opportunities.
Having a favorite case (or several favorite cases) and the opportunity to give them time. Every woman has favorite activities for which she is glad to spend time.
And not only creative activities (knitting, drawing, writing works of art, etc.) but also entertaining and informative (reading various books, artistic and popular science films, computer games - almost half of all players are women - refers to series).
Ability to engage in self-development. The need to develop and improve is one of the highest needs of each person.
Sufficient amount of funds. Money solves a lot: they allow you to get better treatment, give you the opportunity to travel, buy anything, pay for the services of psychologists, psychotherapists, craftsmen, trainers. Without money, feeling calm and happy is difficult. Only a few ascetic people who live far from civilization are able to feel good without financial means.
The presence of wonderful, reliable friends and girlfriends. Friendship is an important (and sometimes no less important than love) aspect of human life.
A sufficient amount of positive emotions every day. To make the mood good every day, you need to make life more diverse and learn to enjoy the little things.

In this case, each woman has an individual set of aspirations leading to a happy life, and some of the points above may not be included in it.

Psychology tips

Psychologists answers to common questions:

How to learn to be happy every day? Happiness is not a permanent condition, so it’s impossible to feel happy continuously. However, to create conditions under which you will feel it more often, really. The most important thing is to have a good or neutral mood every day. Cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy methods will help maintain the mood. According to her, illogical, negatively colored, automatic thoughts worsen mood. Every negative automatic thought, for example, “Oh, how stupid I am”, you need to write down and write a counter argument against it, for example, “All people sometimes make mistakes, it’s normal to make mistakes. I can handle it". Regularly conducting this exercise will help maintain mood and increase self-confidence.
How to be a happy woman if I'm lonely? It is dangerous to closely associate ideas of happiness with love only. First, love alone cannot bring infinite happiness and requires large emotional and physical investments. Secondly, a potential partner may not meet expectations, and it turns out that loneliness is better than living with him.
It is important to find happiness in yourself and not expect too much from others.
Find a favorite business, communicate with good people, take care of yourself, develop. If failures in a relationship cause you severe pain, contact a psychologist.

How to be a happy woman after 40 years? A midlife crisis is a natural period in the life of every person, a time when you need to rethink life, find new landmarks and not fall into depression. Find positive aspects of what is happening (for example, there is more free time, because the children have grown), think about how you will live, look for new activities, discuss your feelings with loved ones. Over time, the crisis will pass, and you will feel much better. If you feel too strong discomfort, it is important to contact a psychologist or a psychotherapist.
How to become a happy wife in marriage? It is important to maintain healthy borders with your husband and not to allow yourself to become servants. Always remember that you are dear, what you are interested in and what you want to do, take the time to what is dear.
Keep an eye on your husband: if at least he sometimes behaves inadequately, raises his hand to you or resorts to other types of violence, divorce him: a man who makes you unhappy is not the place in your life.
Take from the relationship with your husband the best, but at the same time try to work on them so that this very “best” there is a lot: decide constructively conflicts, learn to trust and accept each other.

Useful literature

Also women who seek happiness, the following books will help:

“Wellbeing. New Therapy of Moods, ”D. Burns;
“Stumbling over happiness,” D. Gilbert;
"14,000 reasons for happiness," Barbara En Kipfer.

What can prevent to find happiness?

Major errors:

Excessive perfectionism. The desire to do everything as best as possible is commendable, but it is important to find a middle ground in it. Perfectionists, trying to achieve the best results, devote a lot of time to the activity, but the result is still not satisfactory, they get upset and reproach themselves for every mistake.
Perfectionist girls may not be easy to mitigate this feature on their own, so a psychologist will help them.
Neglect of favorite hobbies, up to a ban to engage them. This is typical of workaholic women: although they love their hobbies, they tend to think they are stupid and concentrate exclusively on work. But the pleasure that brings favorite activities should not be neglected.

Envy. The feeling of jealousy is difficult to control, and often it is the result of complexes and fears. Some people turn it to their advantage, increasing their motivation, but most feel unhappy.
Concentration on one's own weaknesses and the desire to constantly think about past failures. This is all peculiar to people with a large number of mental disorders, so it is not easy to get rid of these features. Psychologists and psychotherapists are able to help girls soften the severity of their complexes, fears and raise self-esteem.
Reluctance to take care of yourself. Also characteristic of workaholics and simply sacrificial women. They invest all their strength in work and in other people, waving away their needs.
It is necessary to learn to take care of yourself, give yourself enough rest, eat regularly and sleep, do your favorite things.

Girls and women who constantly feel unhappy and can not understand why the tips from the motivational articles do not work, you should contact a psychotherapist: there is a possibility that this is a sign of depression or other mental disorders.

How to become a happy woman? Relationship psychology: